Self-awareness is being able to identify your strengths, opportunities for development, and knowing how others perceive you. When it comes to conflict situations, it is important to know how do you typically react, what are your “hot buttons” (i.e., issues, people, and situations that you find especially difficult) and how you manage them.

Beware of Common Conflict Pitfalls

As a supervisor managing conflict, you may feel compelled to “fix things” or blame, or even feel sorry for yourself during a conflict situation, but these behaviors do not lead down a productive path, they only perpetuate the problem and make it worse.

Think about your “go-to” in conflict situations:

Are you taking on the responsibility to fix things for others? You may think or say:

“I want to fix this.”

“I need to solve this for you.”

Are you feeling sorry for yourself? You may think or say:

“Poor me.”

“I wouldn’t have these issues if I had more resources.”

“Why can’t my team just get along?”

Are you placing blame on others? You may think or say:

“It’s all your fault!”

Once you become involved in a conflict situation, be sure to recognize your tendencies for falling into any of these behaviors. This will help you be more objective, which will result in you being able to coach others on finding solutions  - without bias or getting weighed down with the emotional strain of someone else’s problems.

Recognize your Weaknesses, Develop your Strengths

Recognizing whether the common conflict pitfalls apply to you is only one part of the equation, as those are the behaviors you should minimize or avoid. Another part is the behaviors you want to develop or enhance. For example, behaviors such as the ability to "maintain productive relationships with others even when faced with conflict" or to "listen respectfully and openly to others regardless of level, position, or background" are essential in managing conflict.

The Leadership and Talent Development team identified key behaviors that are needed to help address the University of Minnesota challenges. These behaviors were then grouped into twelve key competencies.

University of Minnesota Leadership Competencies

• Demonstrates an Open Mind
• Increases Access, Diversity & Inclusion
• Innovates
• Drives Efficiency
• Thinks Strategically
• Aligns Resources
• Selects & Develops Talent
• Motivates & Inspires Others
• Builds Relationships
• Is Resilient & Courageous
• Operates with Integrity
• Learns & Adapts 

Increasing Self-Awareness

Knowing how you score in each of the competencies will help you understand where to focus your development efforts. The self-assessment below allows you to rate yourself against key behaviors which then add up to your competency level - the higher the score, the more you can do to improve in that competency.

Next Steps

Consider your scores and priorities, then select two to three areas where you would like to improve. Mastering the conflict management skills listed below will help you develop the respective competencies.

Conflict at work often stems from one or more of these conflict sources:

• task, 
• process, 
• relationship 
• and status. 

Understanding the root causes of a conflict will help you figure out how to manage it more effectively and may lead to solutions that resolve the conflict. 

Review Quick Guide

• What is it?
• What does it look like?
• Where do I start?
• What skills do I need to master?

Conflict Sources Quick Guide

Apply: Practice Scenarios

Need to practice? Work through the scenarios to see if you can determine the main source of conflict and the best way to proceed.

 

Mastering conflict management skills will allow you to deal with conflict in a way that improves relationships, solves problems and supports everyone’s success in their work.

The following steps will help you manage conflict more effectively:

Know When to Get Involved

When a member of your team or department is involved in a conflict at work, your role as a supervisor is to provide feedback and coaching to help them develop and use effective conflict management skills. In many cases, you may not be directly involved, but your support will be important in helping the person manage the situation effectively.

Learn: When to get involved? What is your role? What are the steps you need to take?

Knowing When to Get Involved Quick Guide

Manage Emotions

When facing a conflict, it is normal to feel angry, frustrated, and stressed out. Managing these negative feelings allows you to focus on the situation in a productive way and to avoid doing and saying things that make the conflict worse. Reacting out of anger and frustration is not likely to resolve anything.

Learn: Steps, tips and techniques for staying calm and productive during conflict.

Managing Emotions Quick Guide

Build Trust

Even if you are starting with little trust or even some hostility, the foundation for effectively managing a conflict is to build whatever trust you can with the others involved. This may not be easy, especially when you are dealing with difficult behavior from another person, but it is your best path to success.

Learn: Key tips and techniques to building trust in a conflict situation, Do's and Dont's.

Building Trust Quick Guide

Seek Solutions

Conflict can feel like a competition in which you either win or you lose. However, most of the time, there are solutions that will give everyone something they need. Learn about a set of specific skills that will help you unpack the conflict, find common ground, and identify these win-win solutions.

Learn: Steps and questions to ask, priorities and possibilities to consider.

Seeking Solutions Quick Guide

Apply What You've Learned

Take a quick quiz below to see what you have learned so far.

Self-Check Quiz